سال نوتون مبارک

 

nothing to depress you

only joys to surround you

many friends to love you

and God to bless you

These are my wishes for you in1387

**HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

فراخوان

این یه فراخوان عمومی برای بچه های کلاسه.

بچه ها بیاین دعای تحویل سال رو به قشنگ ترین صورتی که می تونیم به انگلیسی ترجمه کنیم.

قضاوتش رو هم می ذاریم به عهده ی یه فرد بی طرف. مثلاً ... حالا اونش بمونه واسه بعد.

 

 

تبصره: وجداناً از penpal  هاتون کمک نگیرین. هرچی ترجمه می کنین کار خودتون باشه.

ممنون. منتظر ترجمه هاتون هستم.

kid say 2

These are actual quotes from student papers. The source is unknown.

 

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.

 

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

 

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

 

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

 

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

 

Wind is like the air, only pushier.

 

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

 

"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

 

"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

 

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

 

 

"Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

 

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

 

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

 

"Equator is a menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

 

"Germinate means to become a naturalized German."

 

"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

تلنگر

شما رو نمی دونم... اما حداقل در مورد خودم یه چیز رو مطمئنم.... اگه یه روز بهم بگن که "فلانی از فردا دیگه نمی تونی ببینی" اونوقته که تازه شروع می کنم به دیدن ... اونوقته که تو فرصت کوتاهی که تا تاریک شدن دنیام باقی مونده همه چیز به نظرم قشنگ و فوق العاده می آد.

شرط می بندم اون موقع سه چهار ساعت بشینم و راه رفتن یه مورچه رو نگاه کنم و تازه کلی هم از زیبایی و ظرافت و هماهنگی حرکاتش ذوق کنم. وای وای ... وای از روزی که تو این شرایط یه گل کوچولو، یه گل ساده، اصلاً از همین گلایی که لابه لای علفا سبز می شه و هیچکس گل به حسابشون نمی آره به چشم آدم بخوره. ... اون موقع دیگه حتماً با چشمام می خورمش و حسرت می خورم که چرا تو این همه عمری که از خدا گرفتم یه همچین چیز قشنگی رو ندیدم.

نترس، هذیون نمی گم. همه ی اینها رو گفتم که یادت بیارم بهار داره می آد. بهاری که تو علفهاش پره از گلای کوچیکی که یه عمر بی اعتنا از کنارشون گذشتیم، بهاری که درختاش پر از شکوفه ان و ما اهمیتی به شکوفه هاش ندادیم، مگر وقتی که خواستیم حساب کنیم تابستون چقدر گیلاس واسه خوردن داریم. همه ی اینارو گفتم که یادت بیارم بهار رو یادت نره، همه ی اینها رو گفتم که یادت بیارم یادت نره وقتی تو بهار یه گل کوچیک تو علفها دیدی، یا یه درخت پر از شکوفه دلت رو برد از خدای خالق علف و گلهای کوچیک و شکوفه ها و چشمهات تشکر کنی. همین!

Newton Or Pascal

All the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play
hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count up to 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton .
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter on the ground and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting:
1,2,3....97,98,99,100.

 

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front. Einstein says:
" Newton 's out !! " Newton denies and says Newton is not out. He claims that he is not Newton . All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton . Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared ... That makes me Newton per meter squared ... since a Newton per meter squared is one Pascal,

I'm Pascal, therefore "Pascal is OUT!!!".

بدون شرح

دلایلی که باعث میشود تو زنی را دوست داشته باشی 

چتر حمایت او را احساس می کنی......................زمانی که خواهر توست.....

گرمای محبت او را احساس می کنی...............زمانی که دوست توست.....

هیجان و عشق او را احساس می کنی...............زمانی که عاشق توست.......

از خود گذشتگی او را احساس می کنی...........زمانی که همسر توست......

پرستش وایثار او را احساس می کنی..........زمانی که مادر توست....

دعای خیر او را احساس می کنی..........زمانی که مادر بزرگ توست

وباز هنوز او استقامت دارد..................

قلب او بسیارظریف و شکننده است

بسیار شوخ وشیطان............

بسیار فریبا............

بسیار بخشنده..............

بسیار خوش آهنگ..............

او یک زن است................

.
او یک زندگی است.......................

 

Respect And Love her

به او احترام بگذار و به او عشق بورز

when ....

This letter was written by an employee of the NIOC (National Iranian Oil Company) back in the I960's to his American boss, Mr.Hamilton.

Dear Mr.Hamilton
I, the undersigned, have worked in the NIOC in Masjed-Solyeman for three years, but since Mr.Ahmadi transferred here everything has changed.

I don't know "what a wet wood I have sold him" that from the very first day he has been "pulling the belt to my lift" With all kinds of "cat dancing" he has tried to become the "eye and the light" of Mr.Wilson.
He made so much "mouse running" that finally Mr.Wilson "became donkey", and appointed Mr.Ahmadi as his right hand man, and told me to work "under his hand"

Mr.Wilson promised me that next year he would make me his right hand man, but "my eye didn't not drink water", and I knew that all these were "hat play", and he was trying to put a "hat on my head" I "put the seal of silence to my lips" and did not say anything. Since that he was just "putting watermelon under my arms" Knowing that this transfer was only "good for his aunt", I started begging him to forget that I ever came to see him and forget my visit altogether. I said "you saw camel, you did not see camel"... .but he was not "getting of the devils donkey".. ."what headache shall I give you" I am now forced to work in the mail house with bunch of "blind, bald, height and half height" people. "Imagine how much my ass burns"

Now Mr.Hamilton, "I turn around your head" you are my only hope and my "back and shelter"... ."I swear you to the 14 innocents" please "do some work for me"...."in the resurrection day l'll grasp your skirt"... ."I have six head bread eaters" I kiss your hand and legs"

Your servant